Everybody's schizophrenia is different. Most people have a decline, my cognition remains intact but my emotions have declined to the point where I mostly feel negative emotions. I lived with my mom for a year and a half, id' still be with her if she didn't have to move to florida. I went through delusions, trauma, panic attacks, anxiety, acute depression, bipolar mood swings, akathasia. anhedonia, most of the time, these things overlap on each other as they do now. If you need to live with your mother that's fine. I love my mom and I loved living with her. We understood each other and cared.

I'm glad that you have disability. I understand feeling about feeling like a loser because that was my biggest fear in life, so I started to write stories and perfect my craft. I still have a ways to go, but I'm improving. I'm on my 4th story now. and I'm feeling good about it. I also have a blog where I share my reflections and art.

Is there a way for you to help others some how? I do it through ideas mostly but others do it through religion, art, love, or truth. Maybe work part time in a nursing home talking it up with the elderly, helping them out. Some way that helps you stay connected, grounded to reality, often it's through social cohesion in some manner. I write stories to share with others.