The other day I had a video session with my T and I confessed that I had masturbated once a couple weeks ago while on the phone with her. I have a condition called PGAD or persistent genital arousal disorder. I have spontaneous orgasms with ejaculation , and it worsens with stress. I have trouble talking about it with my T because I'm so embarrassed and the orgasms just get worse when we discuss it

She was asking me if masturbation helped my symptoms, and as we were talking about that I got uncomfortably aroused and started masturbating, although I didn't bring myself to orgasm and I stopped when we moved on to a different topic.

When I told her she was very understanding, she said she knew my PGAD had been worse lately and that we knew masturbation helped. She said me doing this was a way of taking care of myself and self soothing. She encouraged me to do it anytime I needed to get a release, even if we were on the phone. She said there was no way of her knowing what I was doing and that I was in the privacy of my own home. She was glad I told her but really wanted me to not feel ashamed and feel comfortable masturbating whenever I chose.

I was supposed to have a phone check in earlier today, but I fell asleep. I edged for hours before she was scheduled to call, I just felt this intense sexual arousal and I hate that we didn't get to talk. I've been fantasizing about this constantly since our session, wondering what it would feel like to be masturbating while listening to the sound of her voice, whether I would orgasm, how intense it would be, etc

I feel ashamed that this is so arousing to me. Is that normal? Or is it strange to want your T to know you're masturbating and allow you to do it in a session? Should I masturbate the next time I talk to her? It's all I can think about. She basically gave me permission to do it whenever I want.

Any advice/feedback? Does anyone else struggle with arousal or compulsive sexual behavior in therapy?