Hi uwithumlaut,

Reading your experiences rang a lot of bells for me. Yes, my life and life experiences have been similar to yours, definitely.

I come from a troubled background of trauma and then later on, onto the alcohol and drugs I went. I found peace in them - I also found problems. But as I got older all I wanted to do was straighten my life out and find the real me. So that's what I endeavored to do. But - and this is the way it seems to me - in finding the real me, I found someone who was quite damaged psychologically, emotionally, and like you I have terrible social anxiety which, for me, lead to depression, as well. Oh my goodness, it's been horrible.

And I had a psychotic episode at age 35 as well. I had hoped by the time I was in my 30's that my life would have been a success story of triumph against the odds, haha, but after that psychotic breakdown, the opposite became true. My struggles continued and I got worse! Oh dear. I won't go into the details because it upsets me.

I just wanted to tell you, you're most definitely not alone in your particular journey through life.

Having tried a lot of things in the mental health field to overcome my issues, in the end, I just keep too myself now, and just face every day with determination and the will to grow, and try my best to maintain a positive outlook. That's how I manage to deal with it.

Stay strong, friend. Stay hopeful.

Also, your English is very good, uwithumlaut.

Thank you, and a very warm welcome to Psych Central.