I concur with Skeezy on this. Both of you need professional mental help. But given the current events, and your own situations, I understand how much "easier said than done" applies here. So I've another thing I've recently started doing that seems to be helping a lot, and maybe you'll find it useful.

Start a simple journal. Either in your phone, or the old school way. However, this journal is not written in the way most people have come to think of journals. You're not worried about your day to day musings or feelings, or each minute detail of the day. Those journals have their uses, but are often only written by people who's minds are geared that way. No, keep it simple, keep it easy. I'd recommend filling it in at the end of each day, it just seems to flow best this way. Start with what you accomplished that day. Be it "got through school", or "I did X thing I wanted to get done today" or "I meditated at 3:00pm today", etc. Just the "macro" thing, stuff you can encompass in less than ten words. Then, write down anything you did specifically because it helped you accomplish your tasks. Like "I used deep breathing and mindfulness during a craving" or "I was up early today, so I had lots of time to get stuff done." After, write down anything you felt hindered you, or made you fail a task or goal. For me, it's something like "I didn't mentally prepare myself before showering, so I masturbated today," or "I watched youtube alone and ended up watching racy music videos, which triggered a porn craving", etc.

What all that does is lay out exactly what you achieved that day, what you didn't, and the whys. This helps start laying in a mental map of where your at, and what might be a good path to get where you want to go. Then, after all that, write down what you want to get done the next day. Try not to get too ambitious, especially starting out, just focus on your priorities and try not to put too much on your plate. Then write down your best ideas for what you can do to help ensure success. Even better if you can get it done before going to bed. For example, "getting to bed early" is a great example of this. The purpose of this journal is to help you see your current location in relation to where you want to be, so that you can have better aim. I got this idea from this channel YouTube
And, I personally recommend Jordan Peterson's lectures, he does a great job of delving into some of our deepest issues at their core principal levels. It's because of his work that I'm even trying on here at all. YouTube

Do not be discouraged when you fail to accomplish your goals. This is GOING to happen. You don't become a champion without starting as a novice, we're not Mary Sue's, it takes hard work and an eye on our goals to accomplish them. Keep your nose to the grind stone and you'll get there. Also, do not be surprised if your goals change. When aiming for a star, your trajectory calculations are bound to be millions if not billions of lightyears off at first. And that star is not a stationary point in space. As you get closer, you might even realize that star isn't where you want to be anyway. And... you're going to suffer along the way. Life is suffering, this is an inescapable truth. But... it can be worth it. As long as you have a reason, a purpose for that suffering.

"He who has a why can bear almost any how." Friedrich Nietzche