The last week or so has been awful. Extreme fatigue and pain have left me unable to do most things. It brings a huge mental battle to stay positive and hopeful. Thankfully I have no mood or anxiety symptoms to combat on top of this but I am still being driven to despair and desperation. SI hits me hard at times. Meditation is my lifeline. I meditate two hours a day. During that time I can visualise being active, exploring beautiful places, and experiencing feelings of bliss and peace. It is the only time in the day I get to escape the suffering, although I do process emotions of grief and trauma as it arises. I sense my physical health is directly linked to physical and emotional trauma. It seems to be an injury caused by it. My specialist believes Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue are neurological conditions that effect the nervous system. Medical science knows little about how to treat it so I have to improvise. I eat very well, move around as much as I can bare, rest, and meditate. I sense meditation is helping my body heal. It is just a matter of time. At least there is no pressure for me to do or be anything during this partial lockdown.

Possible trigger - mention of cover-19 stuff.

It is Easter Sunday here. My parents are dropping over for a coffee. I can see them as they are classed as my carers. I wanted to not see them to protect them from the virus, but my Mum would fret so much knowing I am alone all the time it is better for her health to see me. I rarely go out, and am very careful not to bring any germs into my flat after shopping so they should be safe. Yesterday it was my nephew's 14th birthday. I drove over and dropped his present over while keeping my distance. I had quarantined his present for four days to be safe. I only stayed for 10 minutes. It was still great to see my sister and her kids. Sad I couldn't hug them.