Hello there! New to your thread, but it's been an interesting read. I have had problems with porn addiction, but on a smaller scale, (in my eyes anyway), and it all leads up to a pang of guilt afterward, (religious guilt) as if I am sinning in the eyes of the Lord. I am not crazy religious in any form or fashion, but as a woman, a believer in Jesus, (worse that I am having these urges on Easter now), I feel that I shouldn't be participating in it.

My fiance, he has a high libido. Granted, we are at the beginning of our relationship, so four times at a hotel stay had become our new normal - all four times him reaching a powerful orgasm, (one night it was five). But in recent months, as our relationship moved more toward long-term and we became engaged, our sex life tapered off - mostly because of his back injury, and he felt like he was doing all the work. I know I have to lose more weight to ride him better without my legs giving out - or even to try other positions which would take "the work" off his shoulders, but without those hiccups, we have a pretty healthy sex life.

Now, for him, the porn is poison. When he watches it, he would Google my real name and find women that looked like me to jerk off to - but like my bipolar disorder, he has schizophrenia which would cloud his mind and put delusions in his head that I was actually IN those pornos he was watching - turning him to accuse me of making those videos behind his back, (it got pretty bad at one point). His jealousy is a big headache for me; even as a bigger girl I am still quite a looker, and my Facebook is a problem for him, my best friend, (also my ex), is even a BIGGER problem - basically, ANY guy in my life besides him is a HUGE problem. I have had to hide my male friends from him, (I hate hiding behind his back), but he gets ballistic with any guy talking to me, even if it's innocent.

Besides that, he's a fantastic guy and honestly has been the best sex I have ever had, and no one in my life has ever loved me as much as he loves me.

The big test will come next Friday when he comes home from the hospital. (Corona Scare), and we spend this quarantine together EVERY DAY in each other's face since I have been furloughed from work.

Right now, the time I have had in my apartment by myself, I have watched porn only because I have internet everywhere and it's so accessible, but I have felt guilty about it every time. I am sitting here right now about to open a browser, but it's now almost 1 am on Easter, and I feel I shouldn't.

I am sorry your K doesn't want to participate in your fantasies or at least wear lingerie. Maybe one day she'll come around - I know I wasn't into any of that till late in my 30s, so I don't know where she's at. Also, I have had sex on my period and even though a little messy, its the best sex in the long run so don't let that time of the month stop you from having a sex life - especially since she can take care of YOUR needs at least during that time.

And to answer the last part of your post - 70% of happy couples report a healthy sex life, so when people say, "it's not really important," I think they are lying to themselves. Just my opinion, though.