I understand the NPD's behavioural profile, history, etc. What I don't understand is regarding my partner's contradicting profile. For example, he has a lot of (what I think is) NDP characteristics which has created a lot of uncertainty and damage in our relationship.

His Profile:
-- lies, withholds information, gaslighting, trickle-truths, trickery, head games
-- attention-seeker
-- low to no empathy and remorse
-- needs to feel superior, the saviour, the victim, important, entitled, the "helper"
-- indirectly offends others, jokes on the expense of others, appears to enjoy others misfortunes, rude, inappropriate
-- blames others, denies, contradicts himself, name-calling
-- campaign smearing
-- extremely insecure, sensitive
-- erratic, impulsive, emotional, irrational
-- focuses on his feelings only and disregards the feelings of others, deceitful
-- competitive, has to be right, has to outdo others, knows more
-- controlling
-- lacks self-awareness, claims to behave "subconsciously"
-- accuses others of his own wrong doings
-- inconsistent
-- highly protective about his image
-- etc..

However, he doesn't fit the NDP profile, either:

-- affectionate, not physically abusive
-- emotional and cries when overwhelmed
-- shares household duties and helps care of our children
-- reliable, dependable, helpful with tasks, responsibilities, and favours
-- a people pleaser
-- will take to my advice (parenting strategies, counseling advice, organization, etc)
-- questioned if I felt he had NDP (like my mother) and appeared to be concerned
-- very concerned about my opinion of him
-- insecure

I get there's a spectrum but a true NPD would not exhibit the second set of characteristics (above).

I'm trying to understand who I'm with and minimize further stress in our relationship untilI know how to proceed further.