I think I can identify with what you're going through. I have always had a very strong libido and my husband is a roller coaster where he's up for a bit and then has no drive for weeks. I've gotten to the point where I freely indulge myself when he's in his depressive phase and has no sex drive. He is also very vanilla so the thing that is difficult for us is that I can't broach the issue without him becoming embarrassed or defensive so I'm still working on how to handle the blending part. I have a strong kink streak and I love light BDSM and role play. With a previous partner, we were really into this thing called cosplay where we'd dress up as fantasy characters and role play some wild stuff. I think my Catholic husband would have a heart attack if I brought it up.