Actually, the second list doesn't contradict NPD. All the second list indicates is that he's not low functioning.

I'm capable of being nice when I want to be, I can also be extremely helpful, and even quite direct and honest. I'm also highly psychopathic. People are complex, it's not black and white. I don't sit around plotting how I'm going to screw anyone over, for example.

Having said all of that? This guy sounds like an abusive jerk no matter what disorder he does or doesn't have. You don't deserve to be treated that way.