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Old Apr 12, 2020, 10:38 AM
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Omers Omers is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
NO!
My T uses a lot of touch with me, far more than most would and more than many feel is ethical. However, we talk about it a lot first and regularly afterwards. He might mention something he is willing to do as he knows that I am afraid to ask because of past experiences but that is it. I have to ask for it/initiate it every time. Usually I spend a whole session talking to him about what any new kind of touch will look like/feel like, what it means to me, what it means to him, when it’s OK, when it isn’t OK.... then we check in often about if we are both still comfortable with the touch and if the meaning has changed. We also talk about how specifically it benefits my therapy and helps me get to my goals. T has only touched me once without us discussing it first and he was very cautious, slowly reaching out to put his hand on mine and watching for even the slightest indication I might be uncomfortable. This happened when he knew he had triggered trauma from before I was old enough to talk. We processed it when adult me was back to normal.
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There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night