I want to add, I'm not knowingly living through these negative traits on a daily basis. We're both so busy that often times we focus on that busyness. If something slips up, I don't always know I've been lied to or gaslighted.. it's not an immediate conclusion. So in the moment I'm thinking he's just acting off, or emotional, or crabby.

For a long time I used to believe his excuses. Maybe I "have" been a bit hard on him. Maybe his siblings "do" look down on him. Maybe his coworker "is" being questionable.. and because he's so sensitive, he doesn't handle the feedback well.

Of the two of us, I've always seen myself as the strong one.. the do'er, the independent, the researcher, the initiator, etc. He often says I'm the "rock" in this family.. so that doesn't scream NPD to me. He has bad days and we butt heads..

But when reading about Reactive Abuse and more on NPD, I started noticing more of an overall pattern. This profile I wrote is really for me to see and look at what's in front of me. It's all a process. I have 2 littles so I have to respond rationally and not panic and run out the door, while screwing us financially, emotionally, etc in the process.