Yeah I read them all. I’ve read more than them. And then some. I’ve gone through the discovery period. And the 2nd stage. I’m in shock and hurt and betrayed and in so much pain. I just want him out of my house. But I know if I do he’ll relapse. Or I’m scared he will. I’m scared he’ll go do something he’ll regret I know he’s not my responsibility. But I didn’t tell the right people the first time about either of my rapists and they’re still walking the streets and I can’t bare to live with myself he if goes on to do something.
My therapist said I need to decide if I want to be with him, how I picture my life in the future.
I’m hopeless atm. I’m thinking I’d just concentrate on my son and wallow in my depression alone forever. Because I’m just an abuser magnet.
All I’m good for. So may as well just give in and be alone. I have my vibrators lol.
And my sense of humour... be it dark. Oh well.
Just be alone, even if he won’t leave. Or I can’t get out I’ll just be alone in my head.