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wildflowerchild25 · Apr 13, 2020, 03:03 PM

I am still struggling with the ever mounting restrictions and the uncertainty of when things will be “normal”, if they ever will again. “Experts” are all contradicting each other; some saying early summer, some saying if we do that there will be a second deadly spike, some saying maybe not until November. I’m trying to stay out of the news and conspiracy theories. I’m comforting myself by mindlessly reading reddit. I downloaded three books for kindle but haven’t gotten to them yet.

I’ve been talking to my brother and SIL via FaceTime quite often. My other SIL doesn’t have an iPhone so I haven’t been able to video chat with her yet. She’s still playing the perfect mom/wife on fb and doing 180 on me in her texts.

Possible trigger:

She even said to me yesterday “sorry for not getting back to you BIL was tearing me apart and I was deciding whether to kill myself or move into my car”. I was like wtf. Why would you text something like that. She said that her husband was berating her for sleeping too much, calling her lazy and useless. Maybe true, I really don’t know. I gave her the number of the national domestic violence hotline and told her to start there, and then gave her the suicide crisis number and told her to call them if she truly feels suicidal. I AM NOT A ****ING PROFESSIONAL. It is unfair of her to put me in this position by threatening suicide. I’m not saying she’s attention seeking, but she needs professional help and is refusing to get it.

RS hates being stuck inside so he went out and rototiller me a little space for a veggie garden yesterday. I just have to figure out how to get some seeds. Evidently Home Depot and Lowe’s have started taping off the garden center, claiming it is not “essential”. They are also not shipping seeds online. I am unclear as to whether independent garden centers are open. I think they are but I’m not sure.

I’m still getting dizzy quite often. Usually not severe, but yesterday I had a migraine and slept for two hours and when I sat up I got very dizzy and almost fell forward. I’ve been very careful getting up and leaning down today. There seems to be no specific trigger; today I stood up just fine only to sit down quickly and have my head spin. I wonder if I have something wrong with my ears. Head CT in ER a couple of weeks ago showed nothing, as did bloodwork. I wish I could go to my primary. I guess I could do a video visit if need be.