Depression, its natural manifestations, and the probable side effects of medications combined to strangle and doom my own career.
At some point in that multi-year process, I semi-consciously made the decision to keep going until I "crashed" in one way or another; I rejected - or simply did not consider - voluntarily stepping aside and try to find something else to do. It was a fateful decision. I did crash. There is no guarantee, however, the other choice would have had a better outcome.