I don't find validation all that useful. I don't want invalidation of course, but not validation either. I am not that great at validation because why? How is it useful -so it is not my go to response. And to me, something like "you can do this" is annoying or it angers me - mostly because usually I know I can do what I need to do - whether someone else thinks I can or not is not all that important to me one way or the other. My poor mother used to talk about how hard I was to comfort and I don't disagree with her. Apparently I am not easy to encourage either. Mostly I find the most use when people just leave me alone to deal with whatever it is I have to deal with until I am ready to come back and interact with them in my usual way. My person was the one person aside from my grandmother who I could tolerate near me if I was going through something.