I am very sorry that that happened to you..

I lost my grandfather who had raised me as a preteen and teen when I was 17. He was in ICU and was dieing and he looked so concerned and worried and scared, yet could not talk. I assured him I would take care of his wife after he died and I just walked out because, well, I do not know. It sounds cold but it is true. I dod love him very deeply because he encoouraged me in sports and in school and to be a good person. He always brought me to a magical and little known place in Maine caled snow falls which is a sort of waterfall. We would eat picnic lunchs there, God I miss him sometimes. I love the memories though. I will always have my memories, which include so much more than the events just before his death.

Remember the good with the bad..

I hope this helps.