That's the thing, I've been doing so for years. Maybe I "am" being too sensitive. Maybe I "didn't" hear quite right.. or smelled something that "wasn't there".. or "forgot".. or am "overreacting". Maybe I "am" being "too hard on him".. or being "paranoid".. or "jealous", on and on it goes.

After a while, these self-doubts brings forth a bigger picture. This "profile" was for me to see what exactly I've been experiencing. And really, it doesn't matter how much I've reacted to a singular scenario, gaslighting and campaigning smearing alone is abusive. It's not just "two people having a spat". It's not about being unable to "compromise. It's not about me needing to make all the changes.

I posted this list here because I feel safe in doing so and to see if I have reason to doubt this relationship. There are little kids involved. The behaviours are subtle, ongoing, and problematic.

But you're right.. what's wrong with "me" that I've managed to stay in this type of relationship for 6 years? That's what I'm trying to understand.