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Originally Posted by MsLady
I'm not looking to diagnose him. I'm trying to better understand the "spectrum" and get a better handle of some of his behaviours. If I conclude in my head this is a fitting issue, I can better handle situations without taking things personal and feeling wounded. I'm not going back to him and telling him (or anyone) he "has" NPD.
Having an adult son with special needs, I'm all too familiar with the process of getting a proper diagnoses.
I suspect many people with this disorder are unlikely going to get tested.
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Check out Grow with Christine podcasts available on iTunes or on her website (Christine Hammond). I cried the first time I listened to a podcast, so many parallel's to my relationship. I didn't want to believe that my spouse had this, but each podcast further clarified this and I began to come out of the NPD snowglobe. We are currently divorcing and I would never (in a million years) go back to the way things were, with his OCD controlling, raging and silent treatment as punishment behaviors.
These were life-changing for me.
Stay strong and don't waste your energy trying to figure them out. Use that energy to bond with your son and help him grow