I can imagine how difficult that is and I really empathize. I don't think you should take such a big step to cut her out. I think that is something you would regret and I think it would preclude her from returning more into your life when things improve for her. I have two similar situations so I do empathize. In my work, nearly everyone that you work with will be gone in a few years and you will likely move too. I had a terrible time with it at first as cherished friends transferred or I did and had to start all over. For a time I became very jaded and didn't trust or try to make new friends, but I got over it and accepted the system. It wasn't easy and talking with friends who had moved or just keeping in touch helped a little. I am now facing the fact that my best friend left our work because of an abusive male boss. We went from working and laughing every day down to lunch a couple times a week down to just texting/talking with occasional get togethers. For me, it was heartbreaking and I was tempted to do something similar, but the logical side of me kept me on an even keel. She has kids and a bad, jealous husband who was keeping us apart. I told her that I knew what she was going through and that I was always here when she needed to talk and wanted to have fun and that hearing from her really helps me. It's working itself out and we see each other more, but still not enough for my liking, but I know it'll have to do.

I had a friend who seems to have BPD as one of his issues and I learned that abandonment is a critical issue and that people with BPD feel it much deeper than others. He would cry or rant if I had to hang up or leave. He became obsessed with me and demanded a relationship even though I'm married. Things began to blow up when we were on the phone once and he was again demanding I have sex with him. My husband walked in and I stopped talking to L. L started screaming over the phone that I not ignore him...loud enough to be overheard. That went over really well. So, I understand that feeling abandoned is a huge thing for those with BPD. While I can imagine it's easier said than done, perhaps offering your friend support and letting her know that hearing from her helps you and that, when she is able, to just reach out and talk.

I hope the best for you and your friend.

Alice