Has anyone experience a time where they thought someone was being very rude and not being a good friend, only to find out as time went on that they really weren't? It was, instead, an unfortunate case where you may have felt closer to them than they did to you. Same thing can go for someone you know. You may know someone who claims that someone they considered a close friend was very rude, even a toxic friend, but as you hear their stories and maybe even witness some of their interactions, you come to realize the "toxic friends" are really not trying to be rude. They just simply don't feel that close.

I will admit, I used to have this problem. I'm not saying I didn't have my fair share of toxic friends, but looking back, I know there are a couple people who, back then I thought were being very rude when in reality, they just simply didn't feel close. I am much better now at knowing when someone is genuinely being very rude and toxic and someone who just simply don't feel that close. It doesn't mean they dislike you. They could like you just fine, they just don't see you as a close friend.

They may see you as a casual friend or even just an acquaintance. I have a friend that has this problem as well. She will become offended, thinking a group of people she is trying to befriend is being rude to her when in reality, after seeing the interactions, they just simply don't feel close. They are still nice, and most likely like her just fine, but they don't see her as a part of their group. Even situations that I was not present at, I get the feeling she may have gotten the wrong impression.

She once shared a time where she was good friends with a particular person from church. She always hung out with her. Well one day, my friend's friend had another friend that started attending the same church. Those two girls talked a lot and always hung out with each other. This caused my friend to feel left out. At first glance, it sounds like they just ditched her, which could have happened. But I asked my friend how they treated her, and she said they weren't outright rude, they just simply didn't talk to her as much as they talked to each other.

Since I wasn't there, I could be wrong and I don't know for certain, but given my friend's tendency to assume people are closer to her than they are, I get the feeling it was an unfortunate case where they just didn't feel as close to my friend as they did with each other. They didn't outright ditch her. They just simply talked to each other more. They probably liked my friend just fine, just not in the same way as my friend saw them. Unfortunately, it can be more common than people realize.

It doesn't mean they always have to be hostile, some people just simply don't feel as close to a particular person as that person may feel to them. I've had the same thing where someone appeared to be closer to me than I felt towards that person. It happens. It comes down to how they treat you. If they are nice to you to your face especially one on one, but then in a group setting, they are downright rude, downright excludes you, and just generally makes you feel like crap, then they are not a true friend.

But someone who talks to you and even considers you a friend, but talks to some other people more, may just simply feel closer to them than they do to you. I know it can hurt still because, even though it is probably unintentional, it can still feel like you're being excluded from a group and may even leave you wondering how true of a friend they really were in the first place. I do know sometimes it really is a cruel group of people you thought were friends. I've had that experience too. But I know there are other cases where they may like you just fine and may even like hanging out with you, but they still feel closer to others.

I think it is a common misconception that if someone seems to be less talkative to you compared to some other people, then that means there is some hostility taking place and that automatically makes them a two faced toxic friend. While yes, this can happen, in a lot of cases, it is not that way. It is an unfortunate case where someone mistakenly thought they were closer friends than they really were, just like how my friend was and still is. Due to being burned in the past, I can see how this can be blurry since even thought it may be unintentional, it still can come off as intentional and malicious. Just wondered if you or anyone you know has experienced this? I think this is more common than people realize, which can blur the lines between malicious behavior and an unfortunate misunderstanding.