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jtaylor81194
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Member Since Apr 2020
Location: Logan, Utah
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Default Apr 15, 2020 at 08:48 PM
 
So: I have chronic migraines, chronic nerve pain, and frequent exhaustion. At times, like you said, I've been basically dead for days on end because I overdid it for a few hours one day. And the weird thing is that this only started when I turned 18--never anything like it before. And all of it resists treatment. I've been on so many medications that I've lost track--probably somewhere over 40 in the last two years. A stress pill is really the only thing that does much of anything, and even that isn't much.

I think that this is probably caused by PTSD, but I'm not sure... I also have some severe memory loss (or I'm just going insane--IDK). Sometimes, my body will start acting out something (heavy breathing, suffocation like I'm drowning or something like that, crying, saying random words/phrases, ...sex...(I have no idea what's up with that)), but I have no idea where I am, how old I am, who I'm with--nothing. I've tried looking for the memories, but I only end up acting out more stuff, and some of it really sucks, like my body will force me to hold my breath until my veins pop out of my neck and I get all dizzy and my face gets hot... not fun. I really NEED to figure out what sort of memories my brain repressed--it's driving me crazy, and I can't think about anything else unless I consciously distract myself. But it isn't working. I don't feel like my subconscious could fabricate all of these feelings and actions, but part of my worries that it's all fake and I'm crazy for thinking that something like that actually happened.

But the strangest thing of all is that the first time I had an episode of acting out these memories, right after it ended, I didn't have any headache, nerve pain, or fatigue for the next few minutes. I mean, it had been years since I'd felt like that, and it was great. I have a feeling that the only way to get rid of all this is to remember, but, like I mentioned, having your body remember something like drowning/ suffocating really sucks.

Anyway, I just thought I'd post because we seem to be experiencing similar things.
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