There have been some new developments, which are actually much the same as all the old developments.

Despite her suicide attempt, she hasn't taken any of her medication and she stopped going to therapy after all of two sessions. She’s still on the internet up to 15 hours per day while I take care of every single other household and parenting responsibility. Meanwhile, she declares her love daily to the guy she's having an online affair with, has cybersex with him regularly, plus now she talks to him on the phone and says she wants to have a child with him.

I’ve finally decided I cannot allow this to continue. I’ve been told that if she attempts suicide again, Child Welfare/Social Services could start an investigation to determine whether or not our house is a suitable environment for our kids. There’s no way in hell I’ll let that happen.

So I’ve taken some steps. I’ve protected our finances and I’ve found out what my legal rights are when it comes to the safety of my kids. I really, truly love her and I don’t want a divorce, but I need to know my options.

Now comes the really hard part. I’m prepared to accept her illness and help her through it if she wants me to, like I’ve always done, but I’m not prepared to accept either her infidelity or her unwillingness to get medical and psychological help. The plan I put together after talking with a therapist is to do the following: <ul type="square">[*]Make sure the kids are out of the house and then talk to my wife and tell her, calmly and rationally, that I will no longer allow her behaviour and her choices damage our relationship and our family. I’ll describe her behaviour, tell her how I’m feeling, and then be assertive and set limits, not as a punishment or because I think this is how she should act, but because this is how I’d like to be treated and what I feel is best for me and my family.[*]First limit is to cut off internet access to the house. To leave it running is to perpetuate and condone her infidelity.[*]Second, tell her I can’t be in a relationship with someone who refuses treatment for a treatable illness, nor is it safe for our kids. That’ll mean that if she doesn’t go to therapy and take her meds, I’ll start an official separation.[/list]Finally, I’m going to let my family and close friends know exactly what’s going on, because God knows I’m going to need the support.

Frankly, I’m terrified that I’m starting something I won’t be able to stop. But I know it’s the right thing. I just hope I’m handling this right. Has anyone else been through something like this?