I didn’t want to worry people who can read my thread. So, I think it would be good an update. I wrote it in a moment of very low confidence and lead by my cognitive distortions.
Basically, I ran away from any deep contact. Why? Because of my fear to be rejected or feel of inadequacy.
I won’t ever get to be a good friend because the more closer the more I feel the need to look for clues or signs of rejection.
And this can be a minimal sign, many times, I then realised of my misinterpretation. And I’m pretty radical especially if I feel myself low of self-confidence or the anxiety for inadequacy begins to arise.
Who in the earth are gonna feel safe having a relation with a person like this? I’m saying it out of pity. The reality is the reality and I’m the only one who can fight to solve the problem and avoid these “proto” reasoning leads my life.