Hello everyone,

I have met a guy. Because of the lockdown we haven't met in real life yet, but we are online dating. (Video chat). If I see that he is online on the datingsite where we've met, I want to scream at him and I want to break off contact. The thought that he might prefer someone else makes me feel so sad and alone. I don't say anything about this to him of course, I keep my (crazy) feelings to myself.

This is all me, I have had this with every guy I've met. This man is really nice, interested in me, etc. He writes me every day, responds to my messages, video chats with me. But little things he says can already trigger my anxiety.

Sadly, I am very insecure and I feel often hurt and rejected by little things. Even though I know that I am exaggerating, I can't stop myself from having those feelings. I have had a lot of therapy and I am on meds and things have improved the last couple of years.

But still... It makes me feel so sad that I might never be "sane" enough to be in a nice relationship. It is something I long for but I manage to screw it up every time I meet someone nice.

Thanks for reading!

MJ