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Purple Heart
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Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Australia
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Default Apr 17, 2020 at 05:57 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtaylor81194 View Post
So: I have chronic migraines, chronic nerve pain, and frequent exhaustion. At times, like you said, I've been basically dead for days on end because I overdid it for a few hours one day. And the weird thing is that this only started when I turned 18--never anything like it before. And all of it resists treatment. I've been on so many medications that I've lost track--probably somewhere over 40 in the last two years. A stress pill is really the only thing that does much of anything, and even that isn't much.

I think that this is probably caused by PTSD, but I'm not sure... I also have some severe memory loss (or I'm just going insane--IDK). Sometimes, my body will start acting out something (heavy breathing, suffocation like I'm drowning or something like that, crying, saying random words/phrases, ...sex...(I have no idea what's up with that)), but I have no idea where I am, how old I am, who I'm with--nothing. I've tried looking for the memories, but I only end up acting out more stuff, and some of it really sucks, like my body will force me to hold my breath until my veins pop out of my neck and I get all dizzy and my face gets hot... not fun. I really NEED to figure out what sort of memories my brain repressed--it's driving me crazy, and I can't think about anything else unless I consciously distract myself. But it isn't working. I don't feel like my subconscious could fabricate all of these feelings and actions, but part of my worries that it's all fake and I'm crazy for thinking that something like that actually happened.

But the strangest thing of all is that the first time I had an episode of acting out these memories, right after it ended, I didn't have any headache, nerve pain, or fatigue for the next few minutes. I mean, it had been years since I'd felt like that, and it was great. I have a feeling that the only way to get rid of all this is to remember, but, like I mentioned, having your body remember something like drowning/ suffocating really sucks.

Anyway, I just thought I'd post because we seem to be experiencing similar things.
Hi

Sorry you experience a lot of suffering. If I was in your situation I would first see a general doctor to make sure there isn't anything physically wrong with me. If I was to get a positive bill of health from the doctor I would then find a therapist. Do you see one? You can't force yourself to start remembering things, your mind/body will reveal anything that you need to know in time. From my recovery I have to be patient, I can't rush the process. Generally it's a lifelong journey of recovering.

You need to get a diagnosis anyway and with my ptsd I've learnt to just accept the unpleasant feelings. If I resist the feelings it can backfire and get more intense.

PH
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Thanks for this!
jtaylor81194