Thank you so much for the suggestions. I've been using writing a lot, but mostly to get things aligned in my mind first because there's a lot of turmoil, emotions I didn't understand or realise were there before and so on.

I have realised subsequently that it was partly because I was different to what I have always been - things have improved since as I have been trying to be much more expressive and open than before. It's really tough though and it drains so much energy, but definitely feels better.

Thank you for the support!