What was your childhood like? You say you're pretty. Do you think there was a strong emphasis on your attractiveness when you were little that may have subconsciously lead you down this path?

I ask this because I often worry about my 3year old. She's very attractive.. curly golden blonde hair, blue eyes, and a beautiful smile. Where we live, she stands out. Every day!! someone has to comment on how "beautiful" she is or how beautiful her hair is, etc. She doesn't like the attention at all. She gets this from family, too. People are always dissecting how she looks. It's seemingly complimentary and innocent but CONSTANT. I finally had to talk with dad, whom, too, would make comments (I'm guilty, as well) and expressed my concerns. We are more conscientious in what we say to her now. She's not a trophy, a Barbie, or an object of any type. Maybe you have had a similar experience?

Perhaps your focus was always to garner attention from men, even as a young child?

Find meaning elsewhere. Explore. Open new doors. Don't settle as I believe you're not happy. Speak with a therapist and see where the root of it began.