Hey there. You ask HOW to get out of this life pattern you've found yourself in. First, I want to commend and applaud you for recognizing that perhaps there could be more to life than just living life to attract men.

And yes, I will say to you that this way of living will in fact will have the opposite desired effect -- and you know why? Because men typically or more often than not, like and prefer a woman who has her own life, her own interests, her own passions, and things that she can bring into the relationship that enhance the relationship and make it interesting. So if you have interests, joys and passions in life, it brings color and excitement to the relationship. If you have no joys, no passions, no interests and a feeling of meaninglessness in life without the interest of a man, what are you really bringing to the relationship, except for a dependency on male attention? This way of living also poses something rather dangerous in a relationship because if you need and feed off of male attention all the time, it will cause tension and problems in a relationship.

So how do you find meaning and purpose in life? You start by looking at all the activities you have been involved in in your entire life. There must be something that interests you, or excites you... subjects you studied, activities you participated in, jobs you had, books you've read, articles you've read, movies you've enjoyed, trips you've taken or vacations, dreams you've had.... anything... there must be something in life that you've enjoyed and which gives you a sense of fulfillment. Along those lines, are personal values and beliefs that make us each unique. I'm sure that deep down, you have your own sense of values -- of right and wrong in this world -- or perhaps specific political leanings and thoughts/opinions about our global politics or your country's politics even.

To live life for other people is not really living life -- not a full life at least, and it creates a dependency. And you're now seeing that, I think. One must stand on their own two feet to become a self-actualized individual. That is a part of maturing and growing up -- it's a part of becoming an adult. So it seems you are at the beginning of the process of self discovery, of self actualization. There are books that can help you through that process to discover YOU, and who you really are.

Best wishes and best of luck on your journey of self discovery!