I had a "brief" obsessive psychotic episode last year mostly involving feelings through a person following 1.5 year of no contact and unsolved issue

It is possible that i removed a part of the experience from my mind while trying to cope with what happened before and unable to share any feelings about with anyone.
One day i saw some updates from him on a social media and i went very alarmed and confused after reading (between the lines) that he had been into some problems and depression -also because of what happened with me -it wasn't explicit at first though-. Like he write short updates, normal things but i understood he had been bad and i had like a sudden epyphany and regret

I was so frustated and confused that i vomit twice while crying. i still feel i could have this symptom when i think about though is rare
I didn't know what to do and who to talk to, i called a helpline and was not able to explain
I was coming out from a period of self isolation and unemployment and possibly ny mental health was really down in that moment because i couldn't realize something in my behaviour

I tried to contact him and send confused messages because i felt a desperate need to hear from him
He accepted to meet me even if i could feel that he saw that i wasn't mentally ok

When we met i was in a catatonic state and it ended with him running away and cutting the contacts again
I never found the courage to write to him even if the psychosis climax was over

Problem is since i couldn't talk clearly we never had a closure and that was crazy.
Never heard from him since them, he blocked me, then unblocked. Silence, fog

I should explain more but it's been a nightmare

I guess at least now he's forgetting me or moving on, but his life has been damaged, made him lose time

This never happened to me in my life before
Psychotherapy couldn't help me in time as at first i couldn't reach for it

Very bad experience, couldn't fix and also new year started badly
I'm praying trying to heal