Quote:
Originally Posted by annyatanya
My therapist confronted me and thinks I am dismissive when she makes comments. I admitted I do so to not feel but I feel bad about it. She said it is almost like other people do not want to talk to me. Then she asked if U do that at work and I said, no. She also asked me about if I have a lot of friends which I do not and I felt as though she was judging me. She said ppl my age usually have lots of friends. I am starting to feel there is something seriously wrong with me. Do you think I am being too sensitive? She also told me she is telling me this to help me and maybe I try to make ppl dislike me.
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I do think she was judging you. She was probably trying to help you but it also feels blaming. The reason you may be dismissive of her comments may be ''rooted'' in early childhood trauma and/or neglect. So it would probably be more helpful if she was a bit more gentle in her methods of ''helping'' you to gain insight into some of your behaviours. If you try to make people dislike you maybe that is a way of avoiding being hurt? If you don't allow anyone close you can't be hurt by them. Who cares really if some random stranger ''dislikes'' us.... its completely about them. I could be completely wrong in my ''analysis'' of this situation with your therapist. It just reminds me a bit of a therapist I saw. He did not say I am ''dismissive'' when he makes comments but he did say a whole lot of other highly judgmental and negative things. if it was supposed to ''help'' me to ''make more friends'' it did not. It hurt me and he was mirroring my judgmental and rejecting parental units.
When we consult a therapist it would usually be because we have some ''issues''..
The therapist, being human, also has ''issues''.... some of them do not try to be gentle. Sometimes I suppose being confrontative may produce a ''positive'' result, or sometimes it can do harm. It depends a lot on the quality of the relationship with the therapist and a lot of other factors.. I'm sorry that she made you feel that there is something seriously wrong with you. I don't think that is helpful and I wonder what her motives are.
Maybe I am ''projecting'' some of the stuff that occured between me and a cruel, judgmental therapist (irl)
Maybe your T did not intend to be insensitive. As the poster above suggested, it might be fruitful to discuss how you're feeling with the therapist. You can maybe teach her how to better support you.
