Back to a bad sleep place again. Growing exhausted, but then, very restless when I do finally fall asleep. Just up and down and up and down. Never really in the middle anymore. Always dealing with some psychosis, which does not seem like illness to me at all, but seems like reality. Ugh.

Now, my normally incredibly reliable pdoc's assistant has not gotten back to me after two emails. I wonder if she is on furlough or something. I need to talk to him. Guess I will call on Monday and see if someone picks up. That's two days, I think. I can make it.


Still there are some flowers blooming here. Maybe I should go out and look at some of them. That always makes me calm and happy



Hugs and love to all!!!!!!!!!!!