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Old Apr 18, 2020, 02:09 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo View Post
My therapist is pretty blunt about her experience of me and it is often very hard to hear. She has told me that I am a cold fish, that she has to steel herself to meet me, that therapy with me is challenging, and so on. I am relatively unpleasant, but I don't want to be reminded of it. Of course, the fact that I don't want to be reminded of it is part of my work - to say nothing of the exploration around what prompts me to respond like this to others. I told her recently that it isn't helpful for me to hear these things in this way and that it is just painful. She seemed to understand. I often think that to be in therapy you have to be emotionally robust and literate - ironic given the reasons with which most of us go to therapy.

Maybe your therapists had a point about some of your characteristics and responses. Perhaps you need to find a therapist who can practice more relationally and perhaps that would enable you to work on your defenses. Being too sensitive and unendearing do not sound like faults to me, they sound like creative adjustments.
Thanks for your reply. Yes if he had found me more “endearing” he would have probably strung me along for longer. He did not have the skills or personality to effectively be a “healer” - he was much more “competent” as a judge. (and not even an accurate one most of the time..). Maybe he has evolved into a decent human being, maybe not. I think he probably saw me partly as
Possible trigger:


I’m not sure about the other therapist, maybe I didn’t give her much of a chance (“too many defences” as she said )

If I approached another T from a place of curiosity as to what makes them tick as well as it being about me... I might find their words less harmful. But T1 was so far out of his depth with me.. he completely botched it. I hate to think of what he did with/to more “difficult patients” than I was
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