Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
My therapist is pretty blunt about her experience of me and it is often very hard to hear. She has told me that I am a cold fish, that she has to steel herself to meet me, that therapy with me is challenging, and so on. I am relatively unpleasant, but I don't want to be reminded of it. Of course, the fact that I don't want to be reminded of it is part of my work - to say nothing of the exploration around what prompts me to respond like this to others. I told her recently that it isn't helpful for me to hear these things in this way and that it is just painful. She seemed to understand. I often think that to be in therapy you have to be emotionally robust and literate - ironic given the reasons with which most of us go to therapy.
Maybe your therapists had a point about some of your characteristics and responses. Perhaps you need to find a therapist who can practice more relationally and perhaps that would enable you to work on your defenses. Being too sensitive and unendearing do not sound like faults to me, they sound like creative adjustments.
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I had wondered if this brutal honesty is something therapists do on purpose. Is it part of the therapy? I don’t understand why they would be so rude and hurtful to throw your faults in your face in such a mean manner. Why wouldn’t a therapist work with you on your faults in a more kind way. They could have said the same thing in a far less hurtful way. To me, it sounds like the things your therapist said, are things your worst enemy would say to you.
I understand working on our faults. I’m not afraid to confront them. In my case, she said something so disparaging, that there was no good option as a solution other than to accept I am broken. It didn’t make sense to say such a thing to me. Again, only my worst enemy would say such a hurtful thing.
To say Fuzzy was too sensitive and not coping— if it had been broached more gently and slowly, if ‘too sensitive’ had been defined and specific examples given, if it was done more like a discussion between therapist and client with the client defining what is too much and what they want to change, with a calm, slow plan as to how to change... that would be tolerable for high sensitive clients.
The last thing we need is cruel sadists ripping off a bandage and dismissing us.
The professionals who sent me out of their offices hysterically crying and then operating a car without saying one kind thing to let me calm down and wait before driving were grossly negligent IMHO.
I don’t go to those therapists anymore.