I had a bad spell of depression last evening. But I managed to go get Chinese takeout for supper for my s.o. and me. The kitchen was too much of a mess for me to cook in. Today was a bad day. I did n o t h I n g.

My s.o. lives in his own world. He either sleeps or stares at the TV. And he's quite content. He talks to me once in a while - like, to say, "What's there to eat?" or "Could you change the channel? Put something else on." or "Could you take me to the bathroom?" or "Could you get me some water?" Finally, after supper, it's "Well, I'm ready to go to sleep." It feels like I'm just here to render one service after another. I've been doing this for 6 years. At times I get depressed. Then I get over it and keep going. I've done pretty good. Now I'm demoralized. I'm not caring about anything. I'm neglecting everything. I feel like I have nothing left in my heart.