Hi. So this past January of 2020, I began 4 years zero alcohol. Very difficult cuz I was a late-stage alcoholic for years. Anyways, I'm so depressed & alone. I feel hopeless & like completely giving up on everything. Nothing matters. I feel like getting drunk & continuing where I left off, frankly. Which of course happens. I don't care anymore. At least alcohol made me happy until I had too many that day. Then I'd just go to sleep, anyways. I was never proud of myself for sobriety. Anyways, I hear alcohol calling me back. Its very far away, now since I'm on 4 yrs. But the voice didn't disappear. I know for a fact alcohol will give me an enjoyable day. I'm sick of being really unhappy & completely isolated. Thanks for reading. Also, I hope its ok I posted this in '12 Steps'. Sorry if I posted in wrong area.