Quote:
Originally Posted by shovelhead
Hi. So this past January of 2020, I began 4 years zero alcohol. Very difficult cuz I was a late-stage alcoholic for years. Anyways, I'm so depressed & alone. I feel hopeless & like completely giving up on everything. Nothing matters. I feel like getting drunk & continuing where I left off, frankly. Which of course happens. I don't care anymore. At least alcohol made me happy until I had too many that day. Then I'd just go to sleep, anyways. I was never proud of myself for sobriety. Anyways, I hear alcohol calling me back. Its very far away, now since I'm on 4 yrs. But the voice didn't disappear. I know for a fact alcohol will give me an enjoyable day. I'm sick of being really unhappy & completely isolated. Thanks for reading.
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We're sorry this year has been so hard. It's been hard for a lot of people, probably. We've been depressed for a long time, and trying repeatedly to stay clean. We know we relapsed after all the isolating started and the meetings stopped, so we may not be the one to listen to...
But...
We were depressed before we relapsed and we were depressed after we relapsed. It didn't make it any better. For us, it actually made it worse. It may give you an enjoyable day here and there, but it will also give you crappy days. There is a reason you stopped drinking in the first place. Eventually, the enjoyable days will stop coming and the crappy days will be all you get. Then, you may be able to get stop drinking again or you may not. And that prospect isn't a good one either.
We'll be thinking about you...