Quote:
Originally Posted by guy1111
...she triggers me talking to single guys...I just struggle for days or sometimes weeks at a time trying to hold the hurt inside until I am able to feel normal again...Everyone eventually gives up and tells me that you can't change another person. They tell me that what she is doing is harmless and that I just don't trust her. I completely understand that, but it still hurts...I am getting stronger and it bothers me less and less, but the relationship suffers because it is slowly becoming more and more superficial. I stopped sharing my opinions with her on pretty much anything......Sometimes she'll tell me I look sad and ask if I'm ok. I tell her that I'm just calm. She shrugs her shoulders and just keeps on with the day. Today my kids asked me if I was ok and said I looked sad. It made me want to cry. Any thoughts?
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Much of this strikes me as self esteem issues.
Lately, I have learned to be grateful for my husband and not worry about what is in store for the future of our marriage but to take things one day at a time. I am trying to look back less at what hurts and just recognize my emotions as they happen. When we get triggered, a lot of it can be about what happened in the past or fears about what might happen in the future. You are married so she chose you and if she is getting more emotionally involved (I don't know if she is--maybe she is just more extroverted) with others than you then she might also have fears about getting hurt if she gets to close and fully committed to the marriage. Also, remember to work toward being closer by doing things together and making plans for the future. Spending your time worrying about if you are interesting enough, etc. is ruining the moments of your beautiful life. You have a wife and children--so many people want this. Enjoy it! If you can't then perhaps seeing a psychiatrist (unless you already are) in addition to a therapist might help. Also, I have found that I few of the conversations I have had on PC--are just as good as a therapist--and they are FREE.
