Thanks for your replies, childofchaos & sarahsweets! I realized last night after I logged out..that my thread here sounds really selfish & stupid, cuz of the worldwide pandemic happening! So my apology & that's why I never start threads, cuz I mess them up & need to reword stuff. I forgot to write...I have been isolated for 7+ years already! I live in the desert. So I've always been isolated. Late-stage alcoholic is end stage alcoholism, before its going to destroy organs, etc. Early stage, middle stage & late stage. I've read about in books written by doctors. Yeah I would go thru withdrawal & tremors. The last time I drank alcohol, I slipped on my ceramic tile floor. I fell on my head & knocked myself out, unconscious. And I had a big gouge cut in back of my head area. I only quit cuz I was forced to, living out here in empty desert. Stores are far away & I lost my drivers license from an OWI. Drunk driving. Today I feel better & not even thinking about alcohol. Yeah drinking really destroyed my life. I'd be stupid to return to that lifestyle. I really wanted to clarify this thread is a mess. And I hope anyone reading is safe & healthy during this pandemic. I'm lucky I have a roof over my head & food, etc. right now. Yet I'm complaining about alcohol, like an idiot. So please forgive my non skills with posting. Have a good Sunday, everyone. Thanks again for reading & responding.