I'm curious to know how you know these guys are all single? Do you know them personally? Does she?

I really feel for you because it sounds like she's being a bit insensitive to your feelings but, at the same time, I don't know the full story.

Is she outgoing and talks to people in general but "single men" are a trigger for you? Is there a concrete reason why you don't trust her? Is she bluntly being disrespectful about it in front of you?

You have kids in the picture so it's not as easy to pack up and leave, as I would suggest at this point. At the end of the day, her behaviours are a trigger for you and you've closed yourself off. Move on.. but yes, it's always hardest when there's kids.

If it's your own baggage, you'll come across this in every relationship you'll encounter so it's great you're seeking therapy. Keep working on yourself and build your own self confidence.

I don't really have any solid advice but feel your pain. It's hard. Big hugs!