[QUOTE=Miguel'smom;6820402]I don't think anyone realizes how ****ed up I am. If I lay everything out T won't want to be my T anymore. I NEED to become more self reliant.[/QUOTE

Well... I think the reason they dont realize how bad you are is you consistanly under report ... So how can you expect anyone to really know how to help you , they do not have a crystal ball...

I understand the want to be off meds I do. but... when was the last time you had a stretch of stability on meds??? if you cant find stability with the help of meds how can you imagine it happening if you are trying it on your own sans any meds?

You deal with insomnia and Sleep is one of the most important parts of finding stability for people with any mental illness.

Most people on meds and certainly off meds need to have a very structured life to help maintain balance . Are you willing to lay out a structured daily life and truly stick too it? No putting on headphones and going to bed and staying?

As you know I am off meds over a year now.. and I am doing okay. I have lots of white knuckle moments.. But I have a daily schedule. I clean every day, I cook every day, I shower every day, I go outside daily. I have so many things that are just part of my day, and they are Law for me.

I want you to find stability I truly do.....but over the years you cant continue the daily follow through needed.. How can you change things this time to have a better long term outcome???

I hope you feel better soon and can make positive changes in your life for you and your family