I am forming a mother-son relationship with my therrapist. I know that is how I feel about her and I believe she feels this way about me.

I have had severe trust issues with people due to narcicistic parenting. Over the course of 3 years I have been in and out of therapy 4 times with the same therrapist. Despite not trusting her I went back to her because I was even more scared of trusting a new therrapist.

I recently started trusting her with my emotions. I blew up at her and accused her of lying and minipulation which isn't true. She blew up at me and with logical arguments told me how wrong I am. She then denied me visits for a month. I apologized for my conduct and told her how badly I felt. I promised to trust her with information involving hypersexuality which I am especially embarrassed about. The next appointment turned into 1 long apology for my conduct and I told her how much I cared for her. Hypersexuality was never discussed.

I have read up on transference but that doesn't seem correct. My therrapist is nothing like my mom. My mom is paranoid, judgmental, sees in black and white, self centered and arrogant. My therrapist is the the exact opposite so seeing parallels between them is ridiculous. I could see my therrapist seeing me as her son via countertransference as I have parallels to her family right now. Her daughter and I are attending the same college and I am going into the same field as her husband. I feel that could be an amalgam of the 2 and I am psychologically adopted. I don't know of her having a son. I know she thinks well of me, I asked her opinion of me and made a special request that she tell me something negative about me so I knew she wouldn't be saying something just to make me feel good. After hearing something bad I know she not lyingly minipulating me.

I told her that I think of her as my mom and now I have to wait till my next appointment to see her reaction. Will I be able to continue with her as my therrapist? Will I be able to call her mom? Can I tell her that I love her?