I was chatting with my two best friends about the miasma and I brought up the girl that we tried to set L up with half a year ago. They reminded me that L just went off on me about that. That should have been a clue. He jumped on my case, saying that I was trying to pawn him off (I was) and then began yelling at me that he "only went after white girls" and that girls of other races weren't interesting to him. He reiterated that several times in the "conversation." "I only go after white girls, Alice! You know this! Only white girls!" He's Hispanic.

Anyhow, I had a good session with my counselor again. We did not get to my marriage, which is still a mess, but we did look more at why I wind up with chaotic people like L in my life. A good part of it is that I don't like hurting people I've formed a bond with no matter how toxic they are with me. Oddly, I was great with "hit the road Jack" one liners in my night clubbing days, but I knew that was peer pressure and that was not me.