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sarahsweets · Apr 20, 2020 at 05:44 AM

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Originally Posted by guy1111

I have this ongoing issue with my wife where she triggers me talking to single guys. I used to try and talk to her about it calmly but it got nowhere. We even would do couples therapy over it. Now I've basically given up and have been trying to do therapy on my own so that it doesn't trigger me as hard.

I am really struggling to understand...are you a man? What does she want you to talk about?

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I don't know what else to do. She just won't stop and I've accepted that, but therapy is a long slow process. I just struggle for days or sometimes weeks at a time trying to hold the hurt inside until I am able to feel normal again. It is slowly getting better, it's just hard because nobody seems to truly understand. Everyone I talk to eventually gets tired of hearing me talk about it, even my therapists. Everyone eventually gives up and tells me that you can't change another person. They tell me that what she is doing is harmless and that I just don't trust her.

I think if I better understood what you mean and what she wants you to talk to single guys about I could comment better.

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I completely understand that, but it still hurts. I know it's my issue. I am getting stronger and it bothers me less and less, but the relationship suffers because it is slowly becoming more and more superficial. I stopped sharing my opinions with her on pretty much anything. The weird part is, she seems to be fine with that. Maybe she just isn't mature enough to handle my thoughts and opinions? Maybe she just doesn't want a deep relationship? I don't even tell her what I want to do from day to day. I just wait for her to give me some options and I just go with the first option. I really don't care. If I want to do something I like to do I just wait until she is not around. Most of what I like to do doesn't require two people any way. Sometimes she'll tell me I look sad and ask if I'm ok. I tell her that I'm just calm. She shrugs her shoulders and just keeps on with the day. Today my kids asked me if I was ok and said I looked sad. It made me want to cry. Any thoughts?

Can you explain more about this so I can comment better? Like what does she want you to talk about and what is the point of talking to single guys?