I had a telephone session with Regular T on Saturday. It was stressful. She confronted one of my delusions which I then said wasn't a delusion. Basically she thinks it is a delusion and I don't think it is a delusion. She said to talk to my PDOC about it. She asked if PDOC knew about it and I was like, IDK, and she was like be sure to tell him.


We talked about my Mom. She labels my childhood as abusive. I don't know that I do. I think my parents loved me when I was a kid, my Dad was just absent and my Mom was just suffering from Bipolar and lashing out at us kids because it was untreated and stuff. I spent a lot of time alone. I didn't learn how to handle my emotions. Sometimes my Mom was physically abusive in her behavior to us. But I don't know. I still don't label it as abuse. It was more like we were taking care of my Mom or staying out of her way. I remember being afraid of my Mom. She was so super hard on us growing up. We had to be perfect all the time and of course that is impossible. But I think my parents did the best they could and I don't think they intended malice.


She says we cater to my Mom even today. That we enable her. Probably. But partially my Mom has a lot of health problems. She needs our help. She just wouldn't be able to function normally without my Dad and me. But that puts a lot on me, on my plate and I don't disagree with that. She said that my family makes me out to be the crazy one when actually I'm quite sane and everyone else is ignoring their own MI issues. IDK, made me sad.


We talked about some stuff that I can't talk about here on this forum. It was pretty intense.


I had a pretty bad therapy hangover (I wasn't drunk--just exhausted from therapy afterwards). I slept for three hours afterwards. I felt nauseated. I felt foggy. I felt not like myself. It took me a while to come out of it. I went to bed early that night.

I have therapy tonight with Pastor T. I'm not looking forward to it. IDK why. I'm just not.


HUGS to anyone who wants one, Kit