Hello IJustWantToTalk: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I believe this is your first posted thread. Welcome to Psych Central.

One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you will be the Survivors of Abuse forum because, based on what you wrote, it sounds to me as though you are a survivor of abuse. And you may not realize now how much the experiences you're having with your mother are going to affect you in your adult life. So here's a link to that forum:

https://psychcentralforums.com/survivors-of-abuse/

And then here are links to 12 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help. You didn't mention, as I recall, if you are female or male. But I'm going to go on the assumption you are female. And so I'm also including a link to a blog, here on PC, on the subject of the knotted mother / daughter relationship:

8 Ways to Help Your Bipolar Loved One Cope

Bipolar Disorder and the Family

15 Signs You Have Toxic Parents

10 Tips for Dealing with your Toxic Parents

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...busive-parent/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...-in-adulthood/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/behind...-if-she-could/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-on...relationships/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...ur-boundaries/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/knotted/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.