Welcome to PC.
I hope you find support and information that will help you define and reach your goals.
I do wonder why getting a job would be giving up. It could be a good thing if you keep it simple; something to give some structure, time & exposure to people, ideas, things you might use in your career of choice. Practically, it would give you some financial independence that could help you to feel more like a grown up in your own world.
Do not dismiss your goals....if it is a creative endeavor, workshops or events that involve others with similar interests can be helpful (if you don't start comparing and downing yourself)--- if you can, would you share the goal you set for yourself?