((((( Star )))))))

Good for you for still being sober!!!!!

Yes, we often say in AA that sometimes, sometimes a relapse helps the alcoholic. Not all the time though. But there have been some who say they needed it when it happened, they needed to hit a bottom. Some of us enough of a bottom that we don't need to drink again, and others relapse and find that it was beneficial. Still others though, and it seems more often that not, become chronic relapsers, and never become honest with themself and others, and never get sober.

AA's sister program, Alanon, is for loved ones of alcoholics. Many recovering alcoholics go to Alanon too. It was actually started by Bill's wife, Louis. Bill was one of AA's founders. So in Alanon they talk about being codependant with alcoholics, either still using or recovering. They work the 12 steps there too. Many alanons go to meetings and discover they too are alcoholic. I myself need to start going to Alanon, since I'm in a relationship with another recovering alcoholic.

All I can say as far as helping him, is NOT to enable him....we tend to stay alcoholic when we have others enabling our disease. He might need to loose some more before he'll realize alcohol is ruining his life. Be his friend, be supportive, but don't support his drinking, and don't talk to him when he's drunk. It doesn't help him and it certainly doesn't help you to be the one he drunk dials.

Above all, hang on to your own sobriety for dear life, and either he'll come around and see reason, or he won't. Either way, you can stay sober and your life will keep getting better, with or without him.

Keep hangin sistah and gotta love that ice cream!!!!!

Rayna