Hello Julialuvbugde: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. Welcome to Psych Central.

You asked if witnessing a loved one withering away and dying could be considered trauma. I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't give you anything in the way of an authoritative response to that question. But personally I would say it certainly could especially given you were physically & sexually abused by an ex as well.

One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the Survivors of Abuse forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/survivors-of-abuse/

And then here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of help with putting your experiences into perspective:

Coping with Grief | Psych Central

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) | Psych Central

Understanding the Effects of Trauma: Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-uni...-complex-ptsd/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...into-strength/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.