Hi Have Hope,
Your story touched me deeply. While my story is very different, it too is filled with pain. I have seen you post that you are an empath, as am I. That means when we feel pain, we feel it very deeply. I read somewhere it is 50-100 times that of a non empath.
And yet, like you I see the blessings of so much trauma and pain. Doesn't mean we have to like them, but they are catalysts for amazing growth if we allow them to be.
I like who I am today. I am still bipolar, still suffer from depression, still a loner, still learning to deeply love myself. In other words still a work in progress. But I like myself. I have incredible blessings in my life.

I am very glad for you that you are also aware of the blessings and miracles that are in your life. We just have to be open to them.

Living life with an open heart is the biggest revenge on life's hardships.