My husband was in the hospital from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Then thru February we were making biweekly trips to the hospital 2 hrs away to get him evaluated for a liver transplant. Then things went from super busy to super not busy when state mandated stay at home orders were made.
We live with my folks and pretty much mom and I are the only ones capable of doing the house cleaning and cooking. I have been sporadic at best about helping around the house. A week ago mom complained and I knew it was coming. I know I am letting her down and leaving a lot on her shoulders that I shouldn't. We both suffer from depression and chronic pain issues. Neither of us can handle things alone.
Despite knowing this I can't seem to get myself together. I sleep all day and am awake when everyone else sleeps. It bothers me more that I don't spend more time with my husband during this time and enjoy being with him when I do but I still can't seem to force the sleep change that would let me enjoy him more (which sucks since we have only been married a year).
I just feel so rundown all the time and just feel so checked out right now. I feel like I had so much stress for all those months and now I just want no responsibility or claims on my time. Yet I know I have to be a responsible adult and do things. It's not fair to others to do what I am doing.
Any tips on how to get re-engaged with life without becoming overly anxious/depressed/stressed again?
|